Wednesday, May 30, 2007
I'm mad at Damien.
Hey. What's up. I'M MAD. And I'm mad at Damien! He's what you call a "feelings hurter," and I'm the one whose feelings he hurt. I've mentioned him before. He's the guy who works at Trudy's (she's a bank teller) bank, and plays on my softball team. Now as you know, I used to play second base, and I was good at it too! But Damien told the coach I would be a better shortstop, so I switched positions, and Damien took second. But as it turned out, I stunk at shortstop, so Coach demoted me to catcher—and Damien stayed on second! At the time Trudy told me Damien had planned the whole thing in order to get second, and he does tricky things like that all the time. I didn't believe her, but after what happened today? I'm thinking he's a real… a real… CREEP! (Pardon my French.)
Today at practice, I was catching and the batter hit a foul tip which cracked me right in the nose. (It didn't hurt as bad as two spikes through the wrists, but still….) Anyway, I decided I'd had enough. I went to Damien and was all like, "Damien. I like you. And I've been thinking a lot about it, and I like playing second base better."
And Damien was all like, "I see why you feel that way. Second base is awesome!"
And I was all like, "Right… but I really want to play second base. Can you please give it back to me?"
And he was all like, "Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… no."
"Uh, yeah. I'm thinking… no."
And I was like, "But I want it."
And he was like, "Well, you can suck me." (PARDON HIS FRENCH!!)
Frankly I was speechless. Nobody ever speaks to me that way! But then it got worse.
"Look, Jesus. You're a nice kid," he said. "So why don't you turn around and walk your sweet little butt (Pardon him again!) back to homeplate. And remember… you catch the ball with your glove, not your nose. Dork."
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO ANGRY IN MY LIFE! (Not even after the spikes through the wrists thingy.) I just ran off the field, hopped on my bike and rode home as fast as possible. I don't like hating people, but you know what? I think I may hate Damien. In fact I think I might hate him so much that I want to GET HIM. Like, really get him!
That's where YOU come in.
I need a really tricky trick that will get me my second base back. But I'm not so good at trickery, so can you help me trick Damien into giving me second base back? It's got to be super clever, because he's good at spotting tricks. Please write your trick ideas in the comments section below. I know I don't ask you for help very much, and it feels weird. But Damien is a feelings hurter and he hurt my feelings. Please help me hurt Damien back.