Monday, May 7, 2007

I like enthusiasm.

How's it going everybody? I hope you're… outtasight! See, nobody says "outtasight" anymore, and I wish they did. It requires enthusiasm, and nobody I know is very enthusiastic. Except for Karen (that's my lamb), who is super enthusiastic. She likes to gambol—and before you say anything, that's "gambol" not "gamble." "Gambol" is something lambs do. They run, jump and play— which is gamboling. And yet everytime I point out that Karen is gamboling, people look at me like I'm Tony Soprano or something. I'm tired of people being so judgmental all the time.
For example, I bought Karen a "Dora the Explorer" sweatshirt from Target. I buy all of Karen's clothes from the Target toddler section, because… well, duh! They don't make clothes for lambs. Sometimes I buy my T-shirts from the boys department at Target because they have nice bright colors. But I have get the "morbidly obese" size.
Anyway, I took Karen to the park, and dressed her in her Dora the Explorer sweatshirt. And she's running around and playing, and I'm watching, when this kind of hippie guy walks up and says, "Nice Dora the Explorer shirt." And I said, "Thanks!" And he said, "I was being sarcastic." So I said, "Why were you being sarcastic?" And he said, "Because I don't like it." And I said, "Well, why don't you like it?" And he said, "Because you're turning your lamb into a billboard for corporate America."
And I said, "Okay… well, first of all, I wasn't under the impression that corporate America needed advertising. It seems to be doing fine without it. Second of all, Karen needs a sweatshirt or she'll get cold. Thirdly, you kind of strike me as a dumb, judgmental hippie—so can you please walk away?"
What a weird thing to say, huh? I would've stayed mad about it, but Karen was really gamboling hard, and it's difficult to hate the world in the face of such unbridled enthusiasm. And that gave me an idea. After the park, we went back to Target and I found an XXXL Dora the Explorer shirt in the boys department. I bought it and when we got home, I took a big magic marker and wrote "TEAM ENTHUSIASM" on the back of our shirts. Then we went roller skating! Boy, that was fun.


Amit said...

I think that people are too depressed these days to be very enthused about much. Maybe everybody should go out and get a gamboling lamb. Or bunnies. I saw a bunch of wild bunnies today and was enthused. I do not believe that I said "outtasight", however

LeLo in NoPo said...

Heya J. Hank!
Long time no talk. Hey. I think patchouli is your answer. Put some patchoulis on Karen and some on you and you're golden. Golden! Gambol on Karen! Gambol on!

mitzh said...

I agree with what amit said, people seem to be more depressed and stressed out these days to even break a smile on their faces.

Narcess said...

Screw that dirty hippy he is just pissy because he wants to be something he is not..Clean.
As for what lelo in nopo said, s/he is on freaking crack. I know your not a hippy so just say no to the patchouli, it’s the hippy answer to taking a bath. They put it on with paint sprayers thinking that it will cover the smell of moldy ass wafting off them. To all the hippy’s out there. Phish sucks, Jerry’s dead, get a life.
J-man have a outstanding day.

dlm said...

Ahmen, Narcess, ahmen.
I hate hippies....more than I hate regular people.

LeLo in NoPo said...

Dear Patchouli Haters,
I'm not on crack. Step off!

And hey Jesus! I've tagged you for a meme! You're it!

d. chedwick bryant said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
d. chedwick bryant said...

hi again--as I was trying to say, I have a quiet calm exterior but I'm an optimistic enthusiastic person on the inside, so can I be yer lamb too? It would be outtasight!

Jesus H. Christ said...

I like enthusiastic comments!

Hey Amit: Outtasight!

Hey Lelo in Nopo: I'm not so sure about that. I want hippies to stay away, and I'm afraid that might send a mixed message. I like you, though!

Hey Mitzh: Yeah! He's right! Which makes you right, too! We're right!

Hey Narcess: Whoopsy. Let's not fight. We all agree on the basic premise that hippies should stay away from me. I like you!

Hey Dim: Outtasight!

Hey Lelo in Nopo: Ooh, that sounds super fun! Let's do it! Outtasight! (What's a meme?)

Hey Comment Deleted: Outtasight!

Hey D. Chedwick Bryant: You might want to look into buying a lamb costume. Nevertheless… outtasight!

Kato said...

Go Team Enthusiasm!

Why are dumb hippies so dumb? I bet you and Karen are quite the pair. Thanks for telling us about gamboling, I never knew!

I might just go gambol myself... and do it enthusiastically! (See, I'm trying)

Ja'AmLo said...


I had an idea for a product you may be interested in. Its a lamb carrier! But it looks like a giant Pita Bread with four holes in the bottom so the lamb's legs can hang out. It looks really cute when the lamb starts gamboling - its like air guitar for lambs!

Let me know what you think - we could patend it and get really rich.

Zart Cosgrove said...

I LOVE TEAM ENTHUSIASM! I love it so much that I just wrote that in all caps. Sorry, but I'm excited about it! Can I join Team Enthusiasm?

A couple of years ago I played for a 7's rugby team (if you're interested in what that is, you should check out wikipedia) and we would dress up silly for our tournaments. One year we got a bunch of cheap tshirts for the local latin radio station and dressed up all silly and foo foo and played rugby, and another year we got cheap tshirts decorated with "Sweets and Meats". It was really silly...maybe this year i could get my rugby team to get Dora the Explorer tshirts and we could be Team Enthusiasm! But we wouldn't want to steal your idea or your thunder...would it be okay?