Monday, May 7, 2007
I like enthusiasm.
How's it going everybody? I hope you're… outtasight! See, nobody says "outtasight" anymore, and I wish they did. It requires enthusiasm, and nobody I know is very enthusiastic. Except for Karen (that's my lamb), who is super enthusiastic. She likes to gambol—and before you say anything, that's "gambol" not "gamble." "Gambol" is something lambs do. They run, jump and play— which is gamboling. And yet everytime I point out that Karen is gamboling, people look at me like I'm Tony Soprano or something. I'm tired of people being so judgmental all the time.
For example, I bought Karen a "Dora the Explorer" sweatshirt from Target. I buy all of Karen's clothes from the Target toddler section, because… well, duh! They don't make clothes for lambs. Sometimes I buy my T-shirts from the boys department at Target because they have nice bright colors. But I have get the "morbidly obese" size.
Anyway, I took Karen to the park, and dressed her in her Dora the Explorer sweatshirt. And she's running around and playing, and I'm watching, when this kind of hippie guy walks up and says, "Nice Dora the Explorer shirt." And I said, "Thanks!" And he said, "I was being sarcastic." So I said, "Why were you being sarcastic?" And he said, "Because I don't like it." And I said, "Well, why don't you like it?" And he said, "Because you're turning your lamb into a billboard for corporate America."
And I said, "Okay… well, first of all, I wasn't under the impression that corporate America needed advertising. It seems to be doing fine without it. Second of all, Karen needs a sweatshirt or she'll get cold. Thirdly, you kind of strike me as a dumb, judgmental hippie—so can you please walk away?"
What a weird thing to say, huh? I would've stayed mad about it, but Karen was really gamboling hard, and it's difficult to hate the world in the face of such unbridled enthusiasm. And that gave me an idea. After the park, we went back to Target and I found an XXXL Dora the Explorer shirt in the boys department. I bought it and when we got home, I took a big magic marker and wrote "TEAM ENTHUSIASM" on the back of our shirts. Then we went roller skating! Boy, that was fun.