Friday, May 11, 2007

I got the music in me. Whoo!

Hey, did you have a great day? I had a GREAT day. Here's what happened to me: So I was digging around in the attic looking for my dad's golf clubs, when I found my old Casiotone MT-100! Back in the 80s, that keyboard was the real poop! (Pardon my French.) I was in a new wave band back then… and I'll pause while you laugh. My friend Trudy (she's a bank teller) loves laughing at the fact I was in a new wave band, but we were actually pretty good! Our band was called "Rad Town Awesome" and we played in all the hot spots around town. I had a funny haircut—as was the fashion of the time—a blue sharkskin suit, checkered Van sneakers, and a skinny tie that looked like a piano keyboard. And asymmetrical sunglasses! However, they eventually kicked me out because I wouldn't shave off my beard—which was definitely not the fashion of the time.
So no big deal, right? Just join another band. However, as it turns out, its tough to get into already established bands—even when you're a musician of my high caliber. I even took my Casiotone and a mixtape of my jams down to L.A. to audition for a few bands… and got pooh-poohed by every one! For example, there was one band I thought I'd be a shoe-in for: Jesus and the Mary Chain. I mean… c'mon, right? I'm Jesus right here! They said the name was a metaphor. A metaphor for what? I'M JESUS! I'M RIGHT HERE!
And the same thing happened when I auditioned for Animotion, A-Ha, and Kajagoogoo. Weirdly enough, Kajagoogoo was super mean. They were all like, "EWW! Like, it's… Jesus!" As if I had cooties or something. "How is anybody supposed to take Jesus seriously?" That hurt my feelings. And I was like, "Well, I didn't think credibility was a big deal for a band named after baby talk." Anyway, I came back home and eventually just dropped the music thing. No big deal, I just got interested in other stuff.
But today, when I found my Casiotone? Baby, I rocked OUT with my cross out! (And NO, I didn't play Christian music. I hate that stuff.) Here's what I played:
1) 99 Luftballoons — Nena
2) I Ran — A Flock of Seagulls
3) Bette Davis Eyes — Kim Carnes
4) Karma Chameleon — Culture Club
5) What I Like About You – The Romantics
6) Pump Up the Jam — Technotronic
7) Der Kommissar — Falco
8) Electric Avenue – Eddy Grant
9) Hungry Like the Wolf — Duran Duran
10) The Safety Dance — Men Without Hats

Karen (that's my lamb) went nuts when I played "Super Freak" by Rick James. She started cavorting and gamboling, and when I started dancing like Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club? Karen and I blew the roof off that mother! (Pardon my French… wait. Is that French?)
Anyway, what a fun day. I should play my Casiotone more often. Maybe I'll try to get into another band. I hear INXS is looking for a singer.


Ron DeYoung said...

Hey Jesus, I just stumbled onto your blog and think it's great that your keeping people posted and clearing up a lot of those misconceptions people have been spreading around. Isn't it a trip to go down memory lane with music of the 1980's? The 1970's were pretty decent too, but I'm sure you know that. I hope it's alright to point a few people toward your blog. I'm posting a link to you from my blog and might even write a little article about your blog. The link is at

kimba said...

I have a theory that the 80's are the decade that scarred us deepest on our most shallow levels. Your dad only knows how much I loved Judd in The Breakfast Club. When he caught his own spit? So gross but yet totally cool. i might still be in love with him. I've forgotten my point.

Blog on, Jesus!

J2 said...

Rock on! The 80s inspired some awesome tunes. Those bands that passed you up aren't doing so well these days, now, are they. You did the right thing: pursued other interests. You expanded your world. You're inspiring me to tune up my poor, neglected harp, Estrellita. (Yup, I named it.) Keep playing music AND softball!! Cheers! J2/Peppermint

Ja'AmLo said...

oh man the 80's rocked. Did you ever listen to the Replacements? i think you'd like them but they weren't really New Wave.

So i was cruising the intertubes and found a game with you in it. I totally kicked satan's patooty, but i felt guilty for choosing Jesus as the character.

Maybe you should ask Damian what his favorite character is on biblefight....

you guys r silly said...

Hi Jesus!
I'm pretty sure that INXS already picked a new lead singer last year on TV...sorry.
You should totally let Karen's hair grow, so you could braid it and put beads in it --- it'd make her feel like a Super Freak herself! &:o)
So what did you end up doing for Mary on Mother's Day?
Have a good week!
Also, thanks for replying to my comments on your blog. I hadn't heard from you in so frickin long (pardon my french) that I was pretty sure that you had forgotten all about me...)

Anonymous said...

You can be in my band. I play the xylophone... and I need someone to play a Casitone.

jodi said...

Yo JC! Do you use a PC or a Mac? I don't know why, I'm just curious.

Jesus H. Christ said...

You guys are the comment-iest!

Hey Ron Deyoung: I think you're nice too. Your tie is wicked hot.

Hey Kimba: I identified most with Ally Sheedy's character. Wait… I just identify with Ally Sheedy.

Hey J2: Some of my dad's friends play the harp. They're kind of boring, though. I bet you rock it!

Hey Ja'amio: Now if someone will only put me in Grand Theft Auto.

Hey You Guys R Silly: My mom's dead, but it's cool for reminding me that she's dead. Have a great day!

Hey Blairthebarbie: I also play the Jew's Harp. Someone once told me, "That's racist!" And I said, "But I'm King of the Jew's Harp."

Hey Jodi: Are you kidding me? I'm not going to be like that fat square on the TV commercial. I'm a Mac cool guy, daddio!