Friday, April 27, 2007
Yay! I have a date!
Hello! Hope you are fine, because I have a date! And it's with the most beautiful woman in the world… Dr. Jessica Hovley! OH BOY, OH BOY, OH BOY! I can't believe I actually asked her, but after going back and forth about it for a couple of days, I finally just said, "Oh, fish sticks! (Pardon my French.) I'm just going to do it." So I called her office today, and said, "Dr. Jessica Hovley, I think you're pretty, and I wish you would go out on a date with me." AND SHE SAID YES! I tell you, at that moment, I felt like I was back in heaven!
Then I panicked.
What am I going to wear? Where am I going to take her? Should I kiss her? What if she tries to kiss me, before I kiss her? What if we try to kiss at the same time, and chicken out? What if I try to kiss her, chicken out, and then try to kiss her again, but she is so totally disinterested at that point, she doesn't want to kiss me at all? Who's going to babysit Karen? (That's my lamb.)
So I calmed down, and called my friend Trudy the bank teller to give me some advice. For some reason she didn't pick up, so I left her a voice mail asking all those questions and she still hasn't gotten back to me. I wonder if she's still mad? I really don't understand her problem with Dr. Jessica Hovley. Maybe she hates dentists?
Anyway, I've decided to go all out, and buy some new Lucky jeans, a Ralph St. Lauren shirt, and some new loafers. I also bought some Axe body spray. And then I was thinking I'll take her to Quiznos (I hear they have a new Peppercorn Parmesan Turkey with Bacon sandwich I've been itching to try). Then maybe a movie? I'm thinking either Ice Cube's Are We Done Yet?, or Disturbia. Mostly I just like saying the name. Distuuurbiahhh. Distuuurbiahhh. "Dr. Hovley, may I interest you in a trip to Distuuurbiahhh?"
Anyway, the date is tomorrow night (Saturday), so if you have any advice, leave it in the comments section quick!
Wouldn't it be great if we got married? Maybe we could move to Distuuurbiahhh. Ha! LOL! ROTF. Just kidding. I do want to marry her, though.