Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Two's a Crowd!
Hi everybody. What's up?
Anyway, I had a kind of crazy night last night. My cousin Jacob and his wife Marie are having a baby, so they dropped off their pet lamb Sybil (that's her on the right) yesterday, saying "Can you watch Sybil for a couple days, thanks, bye!" And I was like, "Wait..."-- but it was too late, they were already driving off. People with babies can be SO selfish. Oh, sure, like I had nothing better to do than to watch your dumbo lamb. There goes my evening of playing Guitar Hero II.
Another annoying thing about lamb-owners? (And I know I am one, but I never pull crap like this, pardon my French.) They always say, "Watching one lamb is just as easy as watching two." You know what? IT'S NOT AS EASY. Instead of one lamb eating the flower arrangement off your table, and pooping on your signed copy of Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, now there's another one. At least when my lamb Karen poops, it's adorable. (Pardon my French.)
Example number two: Just because they're lambs doesn't automatically mean they get along. Would you put two serial killers in the same room, because they might have something in common? Well, let me tell you, that Sybil turned out to be a real b-word. She turned her nose up at Karen's milk bottle, dropped Karen's favorite squeaky frog in the toilet, and worst of all, she dragged her bottom across the carpet, leaving a filthy trail of stink. (I only thought dogs did that!) Then she kept Karen and me up all night with her incessant baa-ing. OH GREAT! Now she's into my Star Wars memoribilia box! If she even touched my 1983 Boba Fett action figure from The Empire Strikes Back (mint in box), SHE IS SO DEAD. Jacob and Marie better have their stupid baby quick. You've heard of the anti-Me, right? Sybil is like… like… the ANTI-lamb.
Have you heard the new Hilary Duff album? It's not so bad! I think she's pretty.