Thursday, April 5, 2007

Karen the Lamb, Superstar!

Exciting news! So last month "The Preacher's Pulpit" (which is only THE most popular monthly digest for the reverend industry) asked me if Karen—my pet lamb— could be featured ON THE COVER OF THEIR MAGAZINE. Wow! Naturally my answer was "yes, yes, YES!" But then they informed me Karen would be posing with a lion. Now, hold on just a minute! To say the least, I was skeptical. I realize that this "lion lying down with the lamb" thing is one of the most endearing images in modern Christianity… but it's a different story when the lamb in question is your lamb. When I voiced my concerns to the photographer, Cisco (that's his name) told me that Brian (that's the lion's name) is super cool, and I had nothing to worry about.
I was still unconvinced.
So Cisco said, "Look… I'll prove that Brian is completely harmless." Cisco took me to Brian's cage and showed me the tranquilizer gun they used to shoot him. That was the biggest needle I'd ever seen! (Ick!) They had also removed all of Brian's teeth as well as having him neutered and declawed. "This cat is so out of it, he won't even know your lamb is there!" Cisco said.
Well, that's all I needed to hear! They took the picture, and I must say Karen was a star! She sat perfectly still for the shot, and just like Cisco said, Brian never even acknowledged her existence. In fact, Karen accidentally pee-peed on Brian, and he NEVER EVEN MOVED! Ha! LOL, ROTF! Karen really is the funniest, cutest thing EVER. That's the picture up above. Isn't it precious? Oh, I love you, Karen!


Michele said...

Hey Jesus! Soo good to see you online, man. Ever listen to KINK? It's down here in PDX. I work there. We don't play Avril Lavigne, but I bet you'd still like us. Keep on truckin'.

Jesus H. Christ said...

That's so weird. I just tuned into KINK and you're playing "Jesus Jones." That's my name, too! Kind of. I wish my last name was Jones. I hate my last name.

you guys r silly said...

Hi Jesus!
My daughter's last name is the same as your's except it's spelled differently.
Maybe the two of you are related???