Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I'm a magical wizard.

Hey! How are you? I'm having FUN! You know why? Because starting tomorrow, I'm going to sleep on the street for at least 72 hours! Now, that may not initially sound all that fun to many of you, but believe me—its WAY fun when you're dressed as a magical wizard!
As you may or may not have heard, the final Harry Potter book is coming out this Friday at midnight. And that means tons of Potter fans will be camping out all week long so they can be first in line for the new book! Now, personally, I'm not all that interested in Harry Potter. (Is it okay for me to say that?) It's not that I think he's dumb or that it's a baby book or anything. I'm just not really into young adult fantasy fiction. As you know, I love military techno thrillers! YEAH! BANG! BANG! POW! POW! POW! Exciting.
Anywhosis, even though I'm not a big Harry Potter fan and I've only read like maybe half of one of the books—I can't remember which one… I think it had a spider in it?—I'm going to dress up like a magical wizard and camp out with all the Harry Potter freaks. Why? Because I like to make friends!
So here's my plan: A) I will dress up like a magical wizard. Harry Potter has magical wizards in it, right? B) Karen (that's my lamb) will dress up as a magical robot. Harry Potter has magical robots, right? And C) since the entire plot of the new Harry Potter book was leaked on the internet today, I'm going to learn all about it, and share it with all my new friends so I'll have something to talk with them about. They'll be super impressed with my knowledge!
Well, gotta make my cone hat, and color my beard white. See ya tomorrow! (Also, I'm glueing pieces of an old transistor radio onto Karen's back. So cute!)


Morgan said...

woah jesus. i wouldn't talk about the plot to them. they're waiting to read that book so they'll be pretty mad when you spoil it for them. also harry potter doesn't have robots. try dressing Karen up as a House Elf, they're small and kind of like a goblin but kinder.
But have a great time. it sounds fun.

Neko-Onna said...

Hey, Ninja! I've been reading your blog for a while, and I gotta say, I love it. I'm de-lurking to let you know I posted about Harry Potter on my blog, and since it talks about nutsos like the ones at Victory Baptist, I thought you might be interested! Oh, I put a link to your blog in my favorites list, but I'm having trouble with the links going through. Poopsicles! (PMF).

Rock On, JC (and Karen)!


The Ichthyophile said...

yeahhhhh boooooooyyyyyyyy! You da wiz!

The Witty Mulatto said...

Sounds like fun, Jesus! Depending on where you live you should bring a lot of blankets, 'cause it can get a lot colder than it looks. One time I slept outside to make a trip to the ocean a lot cheaper, and I gotta tell you, that maritime air was not as balmy as it was during the day.

I hope you make lots of new friends!

Woman with kids said...

Magical robots, of course. They may have left them out of the movies, but they are important, nonetheless!

The Redhead said...

Maybe I'll see ya out there, J.C.! As an avid non-young adult yet still a fan of the books, I won't be queuing up overnight, but will still partake of the funness that is to be had by all!

BTW, I agree with Morgan, you should probably keep whatever you read on the internet to yourself, or the fan may be very likely to string you up by those holes in your wrists. And, no, I'm not joking.

Hope you make lots of friends, and be sure to use the words "muggle", "firebolt", and "wingardium leviosa" as much as you can!

damien said...

People who have AIDS taste hotdogs just fine, Jesus.

Just because the Nano robots malfunctioned this time, doesn't mean the ones in Karen's mouth won't take effect soon.

Burrito Martinez said...

I think that is a keen idea. I think I might do the same. But I'll dress up as Harry Potter himself. Isn't that crazy? My friend Jen can dress up too. Is there a charactor with a big head? I know the half giant guy that is the game keeper at the school, he has a HUGE head. What's his name?
I gotta go, I have lots to do.
See you in line Ninja!
ps i dont think there are robots in Harry Potter stories, but there should be.

Anonymous said...

i'm a magical unicorn

Burrito Martinez said...

I remembered the Giants name, it's Hagrid! Jen can be Hagrid. Look for us in line.
p.s. we got party favors if you know what i'm sayin...

Catfish said...

I think that they might not really be interested in the whole plot, kids are impatient these days... I would skip to the ending and just tell them what happens... they really dig instant gratification.
Maybe you will be interviewed by one of the local news crews... they usually end up sending one of the news "babes" for stories like this... Damn! too bad you didn't get an iPhone, you could have killed two birds with one stone...
Oh, and for what it is worth, Green Lantern underwear is pretty cool, but not nearly as cool as "The Flash"...

Sammie said...

Hey JC,
It sounds like an experience to queue up 72 hrs. early, but if you are not a Harry Potter fan it will be rather wierd for you. Also, if you take Karen where is she going to relieve herself? (for that matter, where are YOU going to pee?) (PMF)
The wizard costume sounds great and maybe you can even do some magic tricks or perform a miracle or two while you're out there!
Good Luck!
P.S. Way to go with Trudy (she's the bank teller you like)! I knew you would knock her over!

Marcia said...

Stick a sock in it, Damien. (PMF, JC)

Jesus H. Christ said...

Hey, this is from Jeremy, not Jesus. See the latest post for details, or whatever.

1) I kinda don't know what you're talking about, but I'll pass the word on to Jesus. WHOOOO!!!
2) Thanks for the link, I guess. WHOOOO!!!
3) I'll pass that along. WHOOOO!!!
4) Yup. WHOOOO!!!
5) I don't know what you're talking about, but WHOOOO!!!
6) What's a muggle?
7) Didn't I throw you head first into a garbage can? Creep?
8) Well okay, but I'm not Jesus, alright? I'm Jeremy. Just sitting in.
9) Whoa, dude.
10) Yeah, I really don't know what you're talking about.
11) Really? Babes will be out there?
12) I'm really at a loss here. What are you people talking about?
13) Don't worry about that Damien creep. Me and the team are going to pay him a little visit tonight. See ya, dudes.

loverofchrist36 said...

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I am like all of you a Lover of Christ

my email address is loverofchrist36yahoo

I want all to know about a special youtube with a fantastic set of messages in the comments that have made me leap for joy of Jesus forever and ever Amen

The Youtube is youtube com/watch?v=AmxuaNvII04

I am so glad God made Jesus and Mary Magdalene and Jeff and Jane for all of us for eternity.